ZEN WITH JEN

My Beautiful Daughter....

2011-11-06T11:18:00.000-08:00

I wonder how many more years she will want to snuggle on my lap and watch TV? Or read stories with me? Or demand hugs and kisses before bedtime? I’m terrified of losing her. Every time she opens her fresh mouth or rolls her eyes at me, I feel her slipping farther away. I know the moment will come when she'll cease to be mine and start to be her own. And I know that’s as it should be.

But the process of helping her get there is terrifying. I want my sweet little girl back. I want to go back to when it was all less complicated. But I love her no matter what and too much to ever stop trying. Even if she turns out like me, with a hereditary case of Hair Trigger Bitch Syndrome!.

EPIC FAIL

2011-11-06T11:12:00.000-08:00

Ha ha ...well almost a month later and I am not down a single pound. My motivation was at a high the day of the last post but slowly dwindled with each passing hour since. Defeated - I am! But - tomorrow is another day to be all that I know that I am capable of.

I know what I need to do. Stop stuffing my face with Cinnamon buns, eating chocolate like it is the last food I will ever see, get my butt moving and realize that carbs are NOT my friends. Simple formula- calories in minus calories used. I was never good at math but I think I can do this.

I need to take each day as its own success and celebrate daily...... if I can make the best of those 14 hours when I am awake then I am a step closer to my goal. Ready Set Go....

ENOUGH

2011-10-10T20:25:00.000-07:00

They say that in life, we are never given more than we can handle. But sometimes it’s a matter of not accepting more than we can handle. Putting your foot down. Proclaiming, “That’s enough!” I read this tonight on Tiny Buddha and realized that this is clearly what i need to do - just put my foot down and say that this is "ENOUGH".

Enough with the eating out out of control.
Enough of not living in a harmonious home.
Enough of letting others walk all over me.
Enough of thinking that I am not good enough.

I proclaim "enough" already!!!

So what do I need to do? A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.... to reach the top of a mountain EVERYTHING needs to start at the bottom......

I need to redefine who I am mentally- physically and spiritually and today Oct 10, 2011 (Thanksgiving for those living in Canada) I begin.

I start with making the personal decision to start eating right - living right - and making those in my family feel my love everyday. I will be present in all moments of my life.

My goal this week
lose 2 pounds
spend at least a 1/2 hour with each child
take the stairs and walk every night
say I love you to my family before I leave and before bed (I often am preoccupied surfing the net and my kids are sleeping before I even get to them)

This is my starting point